My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
