she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Boobs speak an international language.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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