he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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