Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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