IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
