Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
