We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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