The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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