I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
