I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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