Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
