And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
