the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
