I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
