Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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