I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
