We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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