I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
