Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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