i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I need water and some morals
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
