Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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