what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
