She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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