You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We're not piercing ourselves today.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
