after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
