the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
