Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
