so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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