"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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