The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
