she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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