Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize