Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
