I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize