come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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