Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
