Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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