But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
