too bad you live with your parents still
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
