Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We talked him into tasing himself.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
