ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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