i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
