I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
