Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
