Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
another moral hangover. fuck.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
