We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
