bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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