I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Naked. naked and bneed help.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
