What a fucking waste of an outfit
North Korea, Best Korea!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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