this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
