i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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