a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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