beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i think my cat just said my name.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
