Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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